"First American Friend..."

I have struggled with what to title this post. I have gone back and forth between several. "Thank goodness for dictionaries, Fighting and shopping, breakdowns, Learning more of the story." It has been a very interesting and eventful the last couple of days.

On Thursday evening I was having some issues with just needing a break. My mind is always working either in school to be aware of what's going on, Polish lessons, or talking with someone who doesn't speak english. I was talking with a friend back in the states last night and realized I was trying to find easier ways to explain things with her and I didn't need to be! I use polish and english all the time. When I am tired or in a hurry I'll use the wrong phrase-instead of greeting someone I'll say thank you. I am having a hard tim pronouncing the word sorry. A lady ran into me the other day and I said thank you by accident. So Thursday night I was ready for a break...to be able to talk to someone who just understands what I'm saying or to just watch some simple TV that doesn't require any work. As I like to put it I was looking for a conversation that didn't require a dictionary. I didn't find one! When I awoke on Friday I was a little frazzled and worn out. I have been getting plenty of sleep at night but still exhausted in the morning. When I got to work the girl who teaches English with me asked me how I was and I just started crying. She says that even though she's been here a while and has lots of friends who speak really good english she still gets frazzled and needs someone to just hear her words and understand her. It felt good to be able to hear that from someone and be able to know she feels the same way too sometimes.

I was still worn out during my polish lesson and was having a hard time trying to understand what my teacher was telling me. The girl who teaches English with me says the language here always changes and there is no set way really to say things. It will be one way to say several things in order and then suddenly change. So I also felt better about that!

Yesterday afternoon I was going shopping with my two polish friends and we had a great time. I was able to get the things I needed. I also really like the polish mall! I don't think I found a store I went in that I didn't like something!! My friends were quick to tell me that what I was picking out was boring....even though I liked it. :) They said that because I am a colorful and beautiful person on the inside and beautiful on the outside I wasn't allowed to pick out something that was boring. I was frustrated for a little while because I was really liking things but then I just started trying to find stuff that wasn't so simple and they were thrilled! While we were shopping at H&M a big fight broke out. I was standing in one part of the store and Asha was with her son behind me. My other friend was just around the corner from us. When I heard the noise I turned and realized something was going on and then it got crazy! The guys were pushing and rolling all over that part of the store. They even knocked down racks of clothes! I was pretty scared and yet I totally flew into protective mode! I told Asha to grab her son and I was worried about our other friend! Luckily she was able to come over to us. It was silly that I was so protective because I couldn't have done anything and I had NO idea what they were saying!! At one point the customers started yelling things and getting worked up and I had no idea what they were saying I really wanted to know! Eventually security came and the guy took off down the mall and security went after him! phew! Mall cops actually have guns here! I felt so bad and didn't know what to do that I started helping the store clean things up! One of my friends grab my hand and said she was scared too. It really worked us all up a little. But once we were back to shopping things calmed down and we were enjoying ourselves once again.

At dinner and on the way home I was able to chat with the girls more about how things are at school. The conversation consisted of the teachers and a their learning english. They told me that I was their first American friend! I was a little surprised and also encouraged by that. In some ways I was sad because they have been working with this organization for awhile and they have Americans working for them! In another way I was excited to know that we are friends and that I am able to connect with these girls/fellow teachers! They are all working on me to stay longer than a year. They are determined to not allow me to leave at the end of the school year. :)

One last funny story from the past couple of days is that I was out walking with my friend Marta. We were going to an open market and laughing. This old lady was in front of us and she turned around and said something in Polish. I asked Marta and she said that the lady was mad that we were laughing. Marta told me that we are trouble! :) I like that! I am okay that we get in trouble for laughing. There are worse things!

Overall, I am adjusting well. I love the people and all that I am doing. I have such a soft place in my heart for all of the people here! Knowing that the group has been here for so many years I assumed there wouldn't be much of an area for me to help with. But really they are just as happy to have my help as I am to help. It is a refreshing feeling. While there are some days that I feel like I can't do anything right I am still thankful that I am here and know that this is the place I need to be right now. I'm not totally settled, but that is going to take some time. School still offers challenges and it's a place I am not confident in everything that I do. But all in all I'm more confident in who God wants me to be and God's love for me! Miss you all!