I really don't know where to begin. Well the day started out the same with trying to calm crying kids. The only difference is that kids are scared of me. Because I was saying some things in english it apparently scared them and they ran from me crying. My co-teacher was taking kids away from me that were crying :-(. I'm not use to that. It's quite an adjustment. We were in the classroom and again I am just an extra body in the room. I am so use to coming into a classroom and being able to help out(like I mentioned yesterday). I'm use to knowing what the students need and being confident to teach. It is such a shift. At one point I had the thought "Maybe I'm at the wrong school." They have a running joke around here that I'm the "real" teacher. Some of the other english teachers weren't too keen on that. They didn't like that they kept referring to me as a "real" teacher. It's created a little pressure and I have to say that I can't live up to that. What I know from teaching in the states will only eventually help me. It doesn't help me now. I have an assistance this week to help me transition into taking over the times I'm alone with the kids. After yesterday I thought it might be a good idea to come up with some ideas to have under my belt when it might be needed. So I found some ideas but there isn't really a time this week they are giving me to get them together. I also thought a song would be good. So I went to the girl helping me and said I wanted to teach them "head, shoulder, knees, and toes..." she was excited and started singing it cause she knows it. But then when it came time we never did it. We went along playing all her games. I am so thankful to have her in there but I feel bad relying on her too much because next week I'm on my own! I guess I'll just have to dive in and hope for the best next week! It could be interesting. My current roommate has agreed to teach me phrases like "sit down, wait, etc." I want to see how many one word phrases I can learn. I practiced the Polish alphabet tonight to help me get better at pronouncing. It helped a lot with the words the computer was giving me so I am thankful for that.
Today takes me back to a conversation that my director and I were having earlier last week. We discussed how we all have gifts and God uses those gifts but he also stretches us in those gifts. I believe that God gave me the gift to teach. I have been confident with that gift for about 3 years. I knew what to teach, I knew where to go for new information and felt comfortable to try new things. I don't feel that way anymore. I am SO out of my comfort zone in the world of teaching. I think this is good but it's difficult. A teammate at dinner asked me tonight at dinner when we were talking about this "So I take it you are reallly mad right now?" I told him I actually wasn't mad. I know that God is using the gift he gave me in a new way. Stretching me to uncomfortable to grow and learn new things. It's not about me being confident in the gift but it's about being confident in the one who gave me the gift and for Him to use it however he'd like. So needless to say I am exhausted. I will be heading to bed now.....Have a great day whatever time it is in your part of the world.
No comments:
Post a Comment